We’ve discussed many qualities of a coaching relationship.  Let’s take a look at ways we can successfully launch one.

 

For simplicity, we’re going to use the acronym WISH.

 

W – Why Do you want to be coached?

 

Why?  Is a great place to start to determine the reason the client wants to have a coaching relationship.  What vision of themselves or the future compels them?  Can they help you see what they would like to see in themselves or the future?

 

Here are some kinds of questions you can ask:

 

• Why are you interested in being coached?

• What happened that was the last straw where you were like, “I’ve got to have  help with this?”

• What goal do you hope to achieve?

• How much of a priority in this achieving this goal in your life?

• What kind of commitments are you willing to make to achieve this goal?

• What kind of sacrifices are you expecting to make to pursue this goal?

 

We can help the client start connecting the passion to change with gripping pictures by asking questions like:

 

• Give me a picture of the future that you see if this goal was reached?

• How would the world change if you reached your goal?

• What are the biggest changes you expect if you reach your goal?

• What does it mean for your family for this goal to be accomplished?

• What happens if you’re not able to achieve this goal?  Where are you at 5 years down the road?

 

Don’t allow the client to speak in vague terms.  Ask the question; then probe deeper.  The clearer picture they provide, the better for themselves and you.  Make sure you have a notebook or a tablet with you to manage the details.

 

Important: Do NOT expect that you can remember the details.  Very few people will.

 

After they’ve spoken in some detail, take a minute to layout what coaching really is.  This is incredibly important because many clients will assume that coaching means mentoring, consulting, or even counseling.

 

Tell them:

 

• What coaching is (you can include what it’s not, but don’t get lost there)

• A personal coaching story

• Why you love coaching

 

I – Initiate the Relationship

 

In module 2, we talked about 6 characteristics of the coaching relationship.  It’s time to start implementing these from the beginning.

 

If we want an authentic relationship, we can begin by modeling taking a risk and sharing personal stories with the client.  You don’t have to go long and exhaustive with this, but don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.

 

Share things like:

 

• Challenges, trials, failures

• Turning points, catalyzing moments, defining moments

• Share personal details like dreams, goals, names of family members, etc.

 

Remember: we’re building a relationship where influence is going to be the key.  Holding your life to yourself is something an authority figure might do, but not so in this relationship.

 

S – Sign an Agreement

 

An agreement is going to specify expectations from the get-go.  Nothing is worse than getting into a relationship that you thought was one thing and then 3 or 4 months down the road, there is a conflict that has to be cleaned up because of unmet expectations.

 

Signing an agreement might seem a little uncomfortable for an authentic relationship, but it actually creates an expectation that we will always be clear, concise, and have everything out on the table.

 

Some things that you should include are:

 

• How long are we expecting the relationship to last

• How often we will meet

• How long will our meetings last

• What are our primary ways of meeting? (phone, coffee, etc.)

• Meeting on time

• What happens if we miss a meeting (i.e. rescheduling, still paying if the client no-shows)

• Relational boundaries when comes to time and availability

• What parts of the meeting stay in the meeting

 

H – Have a goal in place with action items before you leave

 

You will discuss a lot in this initial meeting; a clear goal needs to be set with action items that will give leave the client motivated when they leave.